First of all, You can see our whole wedding, including the journey to the aisle HERE. It has been two years since Olamide and I vowed to be together forever. Two years since I married my best friend. These two years have re-assured me of God’s perfect and consistentwork in our lives and I really don’t want it to come off as bragging but I am truly content. God blessed me with an amazing partner and I am so eager to continue this journey with him.
For this anniversary post, I’m going to share a few of my thoughts on weddings and marriage. I am not going to pretend to be an expert on anything. As usual, all I can really offer you is my opinion. So here goes!
My thoughts on wedding planning (Newly Engaged? Click Here)…
1. Save/Write things down. If you find inspiration on a blog, Pinterest or Instagram, save it so you don’t have to keep racking your brain when the time comes. Gone are the days when people judged you for planning your future wedding wayyyy in advance (really, who cares if they do?) So, go ahead and create that extra folder on your phone or computer and save, save, save.
2. I have found it best not to chase trends so much as to focus on making your day.. yours. The problem with certain trends is they go out of fashion and you find yourself looking back 10 years from now cringing at that uber avant-garde outfit you wore, wondering wtf. Also you don’t want your wedding to look like every other wedding out there. There’s perfection in individuality.
3. Oversaturation is the enemy. In line with #2 , you have to remember you don’t have to have every single thing you find on pinterest or on wedding blogs. I’m going to share a tip I learned from law school- draw up a road map of what you want your wedding to look like.. Start with the style (for both the ceremony and the reception)… and work your way down with branches. People can tell when someone is doing the most (trust me) and you want your guests to get what it is you’re going for.
4. Be realistic. Not everything you see on instagram or on pinterest is affordable or attainable. The trick is to tailor these inspirational images to your capacity and make them your own.
5. Ask for help. You can’t do it all and as much as you want to control everything… it’s much easier with assistance. For those brides who don’t want people to see/ steal their ideas before hand (yes, this is a real thing..it’s hard out there for a bride), gather a small but trustworthy task force and delegate. Lastly, for God’s sake at the very least, hire a day-of planner.
My thoughts on Marriage (I enlisted my husband’s assistance for this one)…
At my friend Kike’s wedding, Olamide and I were called out during the reception (side eye to the sneaky couple) to give advice to the newlyweds on their new journey together (it was sort of a “Wisdom through the ages” thing where they called out couples who had been married for different years). I’m just going to steal what we shared that day as part of my thoughts on marriage now that we’ve put two years in.
2.Patience: We’ve all heard the saying “Marriage is a marathon not a sprint”. One thing I always remind myself is that this person I am married to is someone I didn’t know 7 years ago. Someone who was raised in a home totally different from mine.. Someone who is different from me. Chances are you’ll handle and react differently to things. You have to be patient and open to adjustment. Which brings me to my next point….
3. Compromise: Teamwork makes the Team WORK. You have to be able to compromise from time to time. Meshing two previously unrelated worlds together requires a lot of adjustment. Obviously this has nothing to do with your core values and things like that (this is why pre-marriage counseling is important regardless of your religion..remember you can also see a therapist for this).
4. Forgiveness: Whew! This applies to EVERY thing…even the little things.
5. Date Night: We have one weekly and alternate who plans the evening. It’s a fun way for us to take sometime out of our crazy routine to appreciate each other regardless of how we’re feeling that particular moment lol.
Marriage is no joke and should not be entered lightly. It is not just an excuse to party and play house. After the “turn up” comes the co-habitating, co-managing, co-mingling and every other thing. If you’re not ready, there’s no point.
One of the questions I am frequently asked is whether I would change things (if i had the chance) now that my “eye” for weddings has evolved. I can honestly and confidently say I’d make those decisions again. The only thing I can think of is that I’d have made sure I had more shots of my dress… which brings me to this- I for sure would say yes to my Vera Wang dress over and over and over again.
Olamide and I spent the whole week reminiscing on our big day. We are forever grateful to our family and friends for the tremendous support they showed us throughout the process. Sigh.. the best! I don’t know if I ever shared our hilarious Photo Booth pictures on the blog but you can check them out here on Castaldo Studio’s Just Photobooth page.
So much fun! You can check out our wedding journey and all the pictures here.
YAY Team KO!
Professional images by Collins Metu Photography